27!!!

Tomorrow June 16th 2015, I turn 27…ALHAMDULIALLAH!

I must say time flies and feels like just the other day I was a teen…
With my 30th birthday getting closer everyday (I turn the big 30 soon), I can’t even tell you the amount of times I’ve had people make a huge deal out of this impending shift into a new decade…the fear that I am yet to get married, to have a family and all those ideals that make sense to society. In the eyes of the community I come from I have almost failed because my peers are almost raising their 3rd born if not 4th, Make no mistake I do want a big beautiful wedding, marriage and two little handsome boys but many years ago I promised myself I will not lose sleep if these things take time, I have learnt to wait on God and accept that his time is best…so yes I am a 27 year old lady(perhaps with a wrinkle or two) on my face who is living and not worried because God got me and everything that is to come…

Now 2015, we are half way through this year and I am must say I am shocked at how strong I have been, this year came on steroids and all sorts of pains, from watching my mother almost loose her life to enduring a heartbreak that let me feel every fibre of my heart detach from my body, I have had confusion and turmoil both emotionally and physically…sigh, sometimes I feel the stars are passing me a message though am yet to figure it out.

I have been disappointed and bent because I have loved a little too much, I have been failed and my time wasted because I have trusted a little too much, there are days I have woken up or gone to bed and felt I have disappointed myself more than once but then I have also managed to look back and tell myself, well done young woman you have come quite far and you have a lot to do, sometimes am angry because I feel am still in the figuring it out process but all is not lost, I take lessons with me and hopefully a better tomorrow.

So as I look back and think about all of the things I’ve learned, I feel lucky that everything I’m taking away from these past 6 months I get to practice in a new year of my life, My years to come are a time for taking care of myself and being healthy. It’s about enjoying the time I have and savouring every single moment with my loved ones. It’s about being kind, praying a little more, It’s about looking back at the beautiful naivety of my previous years with humour and acceptance, and realizing that it’s all brought me to this very moment…I am slowly learning to accept the fact that no mistake makes me a failure, it’s all a learning process.
And so as I welcome in this next year. I’m excited. Bring out the party hats, the noise makers, put up the streamers and blow up the balloons! I couldn’t be happier to enter this next chapter, a time that I wholeheartedly believe will be the best yet. And I hope you’ll join me. I’m so over feeling like I should dread each impending birthday, especially this next one, I am done dealing with the fear of age and I am embracing maturity, I want to celebrate everywhere I’ve been and everywhere I’m going. I want to live this one life of mine- really, really live it- and at the end of my journey I want to look back down the road and feel a sense of pride and accomplishment that I truly did.

…And everytime I look back, i get a little more proud of the person I have become, it is well…

So bring it on, 27, I’m ready.

Happy 27th birthday to me…

Signed…not married yet Dee