A repost and rewind of my thoughts – 4 years later…
Just a few months ago there I was, 27, heartbroken, betrayed and I felt lost, then I asked myself, is this the life you are going to live? sad and feeling pity for yourself because you haven’t met Mr. right? what if God has decided it’s not happening in another 10years? will you live ten years of your life sad and lost? Then I made my decision that I shall live happy and satisfied and focus on the things that really make a difference in my life, my career, go back to school, my business, my financial structure and every potential step of progress and success that comes my way and ALAS! here I am a few months down the line happy and things are working out great and guess what all this is happening with no man.
Lately I have learnt accepting being single is a big step in accepting who you are and giving yourself room to enjoy life and all it holds, instead of constantly concentrating on what’s missing in your life or constantly asking yourself what might have been, sit back and look at your career path, your finance structure and all the other things that matter before you go crazy worrying why you have no man in your life. Many at times women don’t realize that it is this worry and fear of being alone that attracts losers because dudes can spot desperation from a far just like a lion smells a prey from a distance and men being the “MEN” that they are will use this to toy around with you however they choose to.
On the other hand when you are confident, running your own show and going about your own business with no time for losers and jokers then serious men will be attracted you and give you the attention you deserve, its simple give an impression you are desperate you will be picked up just like another stop along the way, present yourself as one who hold her own and you will be treated as a destination where a man lands to stay.
I wish people would stop and understand that marriage is part of LIFE and note “THE LIFE” there is more to life than just marriage, make no mistake I have nothing against marriage my problem is with the belief there is no life with no marriage, there is life, plenty of it, it baffles me when girls my age who are not married complain of the worry and fear of not being married, I look at them and ask have you achieved and exhausted all your potential in your life that you feel if you dont get married your life will end?
There is nothing wrong with praying for a good husband, so long as you allow God answer your prayer instead of searching for a husband like a hunter hunting prey, God knows your heart, therefore it is more appropriate to work on yourself and career so that when the Husband comes he comes in to meet a partner and not some dependent half crazed desperate woman who sees every man who says Hi to her as a potential husband, to be happy you have to discover who you are first.
The sooner everyone admits that there is more to life than being married, the sooner we single ladies can have some peace. We will all get married at some point, but in the meantime there are other things to work on and achieve, let marriage not be your driving factor in this life, it will happen when the time is right and at its own pace just like meeting that man who makes you happy will happen at its own time and when it doesn’t happen then make yourself happy because you don’t need a man to be happy and no one ever died of being alone, so try it sometime, live, work, laugh and when love comes your way embrace it, if it doesn’t don’t go chasing it give it time and it will come, being single isn’t a failure in any way in fact in my books it’s an achievement of being able to find joy and satisfaction within oneself.
Society has made marriage into this utopia that is the answer to all things. Whereas, life itself still continues after marriage. The woman you are, your career, your values, education, financial status and character are still ingredients you need to make life pleasant after marriage so why not build on all this to spice up that marriage once it comes rather than chasing marriage yet all this others are not in place?