Crisis…Grief…Crazy….

 There is no one “right” way to grieve, and there is no way to anticipate exactly how the feelings of sadness, anger, loss, and loneliness will heal and resolve, sometimes the process is a rollercoaster with highs and lows, confusion, denial and acceptance and many other mixed emotions…sigh….the loss of a loved one or a dear person to you can be heart ripping and the intense of pain could be enough to send you to wish you can take off your heart and hang it away until the pain goes of…sad but truth.

 This life is fleeting and too damn fast and unpredictable…last week I lost a workmate and feel like I had sunken into a ditch, I mean  he was a good man that was kind…we all feel he went too soon…the most painful part was the shocking nature of his death…but you see like I said this life is fleeting and too unpredictable…just as I spent my weekend battling pain and grief of the loss of this colleague on Monday I was on a flight off for a holiday and suddenly in the most amazing and mysterious way I found joy and benched the grief…well that’s until I got back home and walked into the office only to stare at his empty desk…May your soul Rest in Peace Cornelius!

I feel absolutely raw inside. It has been one of the most emotional, tumultuous, horrible, agonizing, amazing, confusing, passionate weeks in my life in some ways. And much of this has centered around my life as usual, which seems a little crazy to me. I should not have been taken to such depths over simple things. The thing about my life is, I feel very passionately about it. I feel passionately about what I do, and the people I do it for or even the people I associate with. So it would make sense that I would have very strong emotions about every little thing… I just don’t get what happens in this life one minute we are on abnormally passionate high and the next we are on an abnormal passionate low, then we are happy and then we are Low…really? Are the stars this confused or is it just me???

With all this rawness and this emotions I feel so crazy,  I get emotional over everything. Everything seems to be the end of the world, I’m like a very ripe peach whose skin is about to burst. Because everything seems to be a crisis in my life right now. What is wrong with me???

I LEFT MY HEART IN VICTORIA ISLAND…NOW IAM A SLAVE IN NAIROBI….

Love D!

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