This could be the last post I ever put on this blog…maybe I am not very sure, but if that’s the case…thank you for reading and being a part of my crazy world.
Looking back over the years, Many a times I well up in tears and wonder, many a times I thought this is it and this is what I want to be and do with my life, I have drifted from place to place every time thinking I have found my destiny but yet again I am sad to say still out there searching and hoping I will find that purpose for me.
See the thing is I always thought I knew myself until I allowed myself to experience things and look at them from the outside in. “We do that every day,” you say to yourself…but do we really look at things that we do or say from the outside in and recognize the impact on ourselves or others?
This year I turned 26! damn 26…I realize i should be on the path to raising a family or perhaps at the peak of my career or a leading entrepreneur but none is in place…I thank God thus far I have come but my targets have not been met, not even close and that mean there is a lot of work to be done, many at times I realize I do not have a self-perceived ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups – Emotional Intelligence…as the English men would call it…that lacks in planty in my world.
I have learnt that I have become too focused on achieving those targets i set that I have neglected me and I have stopped living, very scary status of affair…there is no dangerous situation like being the worst judge of oneself and constantly reminding oneself that you are not good enough, you have much more to offer so push yourself further…yes its dangerous because too much of anything is catastrophic…sigh!!! Not all is lost though, I am a winner and a winner of great battles for that matter…yes again, my Thoughts!
So today at 26 sitting on this desk after a regional commercial business forum, i sit back and reflect…have i reached those goals? am I anywhere close? is this my destiny? still struggling to find those answers…
So again hoping Lesson Learnt at 26 and battling to reach those goals: “sigh” I cannot drum this into my head without hurting myself because I have learnt to constantly and everyday remind me to take charge or my emotions. Emotional theatrics can be entertaining and sometimes upsetting. Have the understanding of your emotions and know how to control them because that is what will determine whether you can control yourself from getting into a hot pot.
Well…it is what it is…Good day people!