This is Me…@ THIRTY!!!

I turned 30 on the 16th of June 2018…Three decades of Glorious Fabulous Khadija, This far I have come, it is only God, I am blessed and forever Grateful. I spent my birthday in Mombasa, with my family and for the first time in my three decades of existence my father was at my birthday, I don’t even know how I felt about that but I guess it is what it is…I am grateful for the army of good people I have around me and the Love that follows me, it really is a blessing.

The plan was Paris for my 30th, A brief Dubai and Egypt but oh well Fate and life happened, but still I hold the Paris dream and Egypt will happen too, it shall, someday soon.

THIRTY and I can’t even tell you the amount of times I’ve had people make a huge deal out of this shift into a new decade. Nine times out of ten, I hear my peers commiserating over “30,” saying it in whispered tones, turning 30 into the Voldemort of birthdays. Growing up I can still remember a friend’s older sister who celebrated her 29th birthday four times, and I have a cousin who to this day won’t recognize the fact that she entered her 30s…in the ’90s, MORE SO US WOMEN, SEE THE DENIAL IN OUR LIVES, but why do women fear age so much? I am a different kind of breed, I don’t fear Thirty…my Hair is at its best, I have the body of a supermodel, skin of a toddler and the IQ and confidence can only be matched to Condoleezza Rice, my Friend best believe this is the best of me!!!

PS – I care more about the price of spinach than I am bothered about the opinion of human beings – status UNFUCKWITHABLE!!!

To me, turning 30 is exciting. I know who I am, I know what I want out of life and for the most part, I’ve figured out how to get there. It’s not even about accomplishments; married or not, children or none, career or still figuring it out – it’s about self-realization and being able to say, “Hey, you- I love you!” to that reflection in the mirror. Accepting myself has been the hardest journey of all, and although I’m not there yet, I’m a heck of a lot closer than I was at 21.

My 20s were amazing. Wild. Beautiful, even. In between all of life’s important moments, the bullet points on the broad timeline of this past decade, there’s been a whole lot of figuring it out – “it” being, you guessed it, life. Now, at the fairly young age of newly-30 I still have a long, long way to go, but I am fairly certain that as my life goes on, I will look back to my 20s as a time of self-discovery. And if that is indeed the case, then I am hoping that my 30s will be a time to enjoy all of the “stuff” I figured out.
Anytime before the age of 25, if someone mentioned turning 30, I felt truly sorry for them.30’s. That’s like real adulthood. Gross, scary and so not exciting!!!

Then something started happening, maybe around 28. I started looking forward to 30. And I wasn’t the only one. My friends were throwing huge 30th birthday bashes and going on expensive vacations to celebrate. Some were jumping out of airplanes for the first time. These people weren’t quietly turning 30 in hopes that they could still claim 29 for a couple more years without too many people calling their bluff. They were celebrating 30, confidently.
And so it is with confidence and thankfulness that I, too, joined the ranks of 30.. Thankfulness, because 30 is a privilege. Really, it is. (I’ll be the first to admit it’s a miracle I’m still here after all the things I thought were a good idea in my 20’s.) my children will read this blog someday, so we will spare the details…pardon a sister on the clean up!

I have no qualms about leaving my 20’s behind. I enjoyed them – I did some things right, I screwed up plenty of others(no regrets), and I had a lot of fun in the process, but I won’t miss them. My 20’s, much like everyone else’s, were about growth and self-discovery. Some discoveries made me proud, others, not so much. But it is with this knowledge that I hope to be in my 30’s everything I wasn’t yet prepared to be in my 20’s. (I’ll let you know how that turns out at 40.) But for now, from someone who is just on the brink of this incredible new decade, here are my thoughts on turning 30 and a little advise;

Take care of your health. You are not invincible and when your body starts to break down, it sucks. It can make you feel so helpless and frustrated this is one of the most valuable lessons I have learnt..

Work Out – Work Out – Work Out – I have said that three times because honey, this is where metabolism divorces you and your body demands more care, eat healthy and work out, trust me it’s the only way you will look like Nicole Murphy at 50.

Don’t Stress About It: Don’t try to figure things out because of an arbitrary number. Your thirties will be wonderful. This is the time when you’re more comfortable in your skin, and when you gain a true appreciation for the fact that you somehow survived your twenties despite all of the mistakes you may have made, Enjoy 30; embrace it and don’t try to rush anything. Everything falls into place and due to experience, you’re now prepared to appreciate all the good and let go of the bad.”

Take Care of Your Skin: it is necessary, this is where the wrinkles start checking in, drink a lot of water, sun screen and moisturizer are your best friends

Be authentic: and be the best version of yourself…trust me, it’s the best you can do to yourself, you DO NOT OWE ANYONE ANYTHING and you have no obligation to make people happy…

Stop dating assholes: Just stop, a real man will treat you like a Queen, anything less just drop it!!!Spend zero time and heartache on boys who are not worthy of your time, because they are, well, not worthy of your time. If he wants to see you, he will do anything in his power to see you. His phone works, he got the text, his fingers are still text-worthy even though he’s out of town, he’s not that busy right now at work, you don’t need to remind him about anything and he, mostly likely, did not die. If he wants to, he will… and if he doesn’t — his judgment is just fucking BAD.”

Be kind to others: Practice empathy. There are always going to be days where someone pisses you off, does something stupid, says something inappropriate, etc. Instead of immediately judging, remember to recognize that you have no idea what they are going through in their life or what may have happened to them earlier in the day. It seems like an obvious one, but sometimes it’s a struggle. Never lose sight of the fact that we are very fortunate.

Time flies: This decade is the decade where life comes together, whatever your “together” means for you. It’s long enough for giant changes to occur. But watch out because it flies by. Enjoy it.The years you’re facing will pick up speed. You’ll be caught up in the whirlwind of life and it’ll be easy to forget those who’ve helped mold you into the amazing woman you are… and will be. Remember to stop and be thankful. And, remember to say it again and again.

Make it Count: Live your gorgeous life, embrace a positive attitude, CRY, continue to laugh A LOT, enjoy sex, wear clothes and accessories that make you feel like Beyoncé or a hungover supermodel, forget the body shammers, honey you look glorious, that’s ALL.

It is hard not to reflect on my twenties without mentioning Love,I have journeyed most of my life, but in my early 20’s and late 20’s I went dark. Life got busy and I was a bit overwhelmed with many things and alot of those involved me loving others more than i did myself, what a shame!!! I wish I knew then what I know now. I wish I had been an adult at that time to give ME advice, it would be very helpful and most of all I wish I respected myself and my body the way I do today…one of the most glorious battles I have won in the past two years is self Love and acceptance of me and this for me is what freedom means.

The only hint of sadness I feel as I turned 30 comes from the realization that I’m not going to be able to do everything. I was a big daydreamer in my teens, and many of my dreams centered around what I was going to be or where I was going to live. At that age, I was pretty confident that I’d be able to travel the world, explore and do lots of adventure ,be an agent of change and mentor young girls to greatness or perhaps sitting in the United Nations office, a news reporter for a network in a big city, an actress in Hollywood, and run a girl child support and rescue center (yes we need one of those and I know why) all in one lifetime. (You gotta shoot for the moon, right?) The process of accepting that life is too short to do it all has not been an easy one for me. I know I won’t be able to live everywhere I want to live, meet everyone I want to meet, see everything I want to see, or do everything I want to do. But the important thing is, I’m never going to stop trying to.

Bring it on, 30!!! I have never been more ready for a decade and I know God has Great plans for me.

3 thoughts on “This is Me…@ THIRTY!!!

  1. Very well articulated. Love the confidence vibes from you – as it should be. Women fear age and end up settling for less out of fear of not settling down ‘on time’ .. rather.. society’s time. Let’s change the game shall we? It’s about time. ♥️

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